Pick Your Battles Wisely

In my opinion, the hardest part about growing up is battling with the hormones raging throughout my body, causing me to have random outbursts of craziness. Sometimes it's good crazy: I have a random urge to clean or to help other people and be an angel, but others? Other times I can be quite a...not very nice word. This happens more often than I would like it to, but lets face it; I'm 18, it's going to happen.

Although I blame it on the hormones, I have to take responsibility of my actions. As graduation is quickly approaching, I've started realizing how much I pick fights with people; my family in particular. I don't like yelling or being angry. I'm really a mostly happy and optimistic person, but sometimes the little devil on my shoulder sways me to act with haste and immediately, where if I would just analyze the situation for a minute and take a breather, I wouldn't lash out so much. 

The person I lash out on most is my little sister. Almost immediately after every outburst I have with her, I feel terrible and wish I could take it all back, but I know I can't. I know sometimes sisters fight, but I honestly have no excuse for the way I treat her sometimes. I don't like being mean. I need to be her role model, friend, and someone she can talk to when she's having trouble. I would do anything to protect her, and I love her dearly. Sometimes, my actions don't particularly show how much I care about her, but I'm definitely going to try and be more aware of what I say and how I say it.

Another person I lash out on a lot is my mom. She does SO MUCH for me and again, no excuse. It's entirely my fault and I do it just because it happens sometimes and I act immediately. Just tonight, my mom told me that my grades were looking pretty bad and that I needed to reevaluate my priorities. I went to look at my grades and saw what she was referring to: a 79 in precal. Immediately I got angry, but before I said anything, I took a deep breath and actually thought about the situation.

 I looked further into the grade and realized that my teacher hadn't put in any recent grades after she had been out for a week. I realized that my grade would come up. I realized that instead of defending myself by saying something rude about my teacher not putting the grades in, I would just let it be and told her that I would bring them up. Simple as that, I dodged a potential argument when there was really nothing to argue about. All my mom said was that I needed to bring my grades up; all I had to do was tell them that they will and prove it. 

Just a little food for thought for anyone struggling with lashing out and acting upon impulse: Take a deep breath and a step back, evaluate the situation, and talk to someone how you would want to be spoken to.

"But avoid irrelevant babble, for it will lead people into more and more ungodliness" 2 Timothy 2:16

Time to Evaluate

It has been a long while since I have posted on here, but I need to let off some steam after a very hectic, terrible few months. Honestly, this post is more for me more than anything else, so if you're reading this, you're awesome.

Let's recap:
-Choir concerts/rehearsals/competitions out of the kazoo
-Tests
-ECONOMICS
-EXboyfriend troubles
-work & lack of money
-college

This may seem like a very short list to some of you, but I've been stressed to the max these last few months and I finally feel like two huge weights have been lifted off of my shoulders. I'm exhausted, yes, but I'm finally ready to move on with everything. Now that I have complained (which is necessary sometimes), I'll talk about some of the things that I'm relieved and/or excited about.

1. College - I applied to college! (finally, cough second-semester senior, cough). Not only did I apply, but I was accepted to Texas State and Sam Houston with automatic admission. Hallelujah, I saw the light and finally just went through with it. Now, I am going to visit Texas State this coming Tuesday. SO beyond excited.

2. Economics - So since my junior year, I have completed three online classes (2 P.E. courses, I know pathetic. And government). I am now, as a senior in my second semester, starting my economics class that is usually supposed to take a semester to complete. Whoops, but hey, I'm getting it done faster than I imagined I would. I would just like to say 'thank you!' to Quizlet.

3. Work - What high school student likes to work or even wants a job? Me. I absolutely love my job. It is what sort of encouraged me toward my college degree program, which is going to be fashion merchandising. I can't even explain just how excited I am to go to college for such a fun degree. Although lately I haven't had very many hours because of my crazy school schedule, my work schedule is finally picking up again and I just love it. It seriously just makes me happy.

4. Prom - I have a prom date!!! Yay! Although it's definitely not who I imagined myself going with, it is going to be wonderful and I'm glad that things have worked out the way that they did.

5. Graduation - AH. In three months and four days I will officially be a high school graduate. I'm so happy. Honestly, overall I've had a pretty good run. Although I wouldn't consider these past four years to be the best I have accomplished a lot and that's all that matters.

For anyone who's reading, just remember that no matter what, you happiness is always the most important thing in you life and should be a priority.

Kindness

As the end of the year rolls around, I like to reminisce on the past year and really look into what I have learned, as well as remember and ponder the wonderful things that I have been blessed with. I encourage everyone to do this because not only does it humble you and make you feel accomplished, but it also allows you to remember the faults of the year, in turn bettering you as a person. Let's face it: we're all human; we all make mistakes, and that's okay. As long as we are big enough to accept and learn from our fall outs, all is good.

This past year has really made me think about my future and I have made some very "big girl" decisions. I have definitely endured a lot of hurt, but I have also experienced a whole lot of happiness too.

This year (2013) was the mark of the beginning of my senior year in high school. Many people (at least in Texas) believe that by now you should know exactly where you want to go to college, what you want to major and minor in, and what you see yourself doing in twenty years. For some people, this is the status quo and they are just fine with following it. For others, like myself, we are not so ready to leave the nest or even think about the future (which I might mention, scares the CRAP out of me). So here I am saying: I don't know where I want to go to college, I have a slight idea of what I want to major in, and I want to  be a makeup artist which is apparently not an acceptable answer to anyone asking what you want to be when you grow up.